General erection

General erection

December 13th, 2013 // 12:43 pm @ // One Comment

Hello there. Goodness it’s been a long time since we hung out here together, isn’t it? Well I’m sorry. Really I am. I cannot apologise enough. All I can say by way of mitigation is that I’ve been like, really really busy. Had loads of work on, been to America again, been playing with my band and just generally being a bit lax on the old blogging front.

What can I do to make it up to you? How can I possibly redeem myself?

How about I do that thing of picking an ad off of the telly and having a right old go at it? I know, I know. That’s what I always do. But this time, THIS TIME, there’s a slight twist. This time I’m going to show you a current tv ad and make a few suggestions how that ad could work harder, be more effective and potentially win a SHITLOAD of awards. “How can you do that, andy?” I hear you say. “How can you, a lowly freelance copywriter from Manchester, make this lacklustre ad a REAL, SURE-FIRE, BONEY FIDO WINNER?”  Well watch and learn, friends. Watch and learn.

First, watch the ad in question. (Sorry, you’ll have to use the link below. It’s not on youtube for some inexplicable reason)

CLICK HERE FOR ERECTILE DISFUNCTION.    (Not literally, obvs.)

Now I know what you’re thinking. “That’s a very sensitive subject, Andy. How can you deal with this in a manner that is effective yet sympathetic? How can you, a man-about-town of some repute find the empathy to handle this particular subject?” Well, let me tell you. As a copywriter, I’m used to stepping into the lives of others. Inhabiting their world and sharing their experiences. Even in the field of erectile disfunction. A phenomenon I have never personally experienced. Honestly. This has never happened to me before. Sorry. Ever.

Right, on with the rework. First, let’s lose that enormous, elaborate flower arrangement. What’s it saying to us? It’s big, it’s unwieldy, it’s solid. In short, it’s wrong. Instead we have a vase of wilted tulips. Their stems limp, their heads hanging sadly over the lip of their receptacle. Next, the waiter. Instead of presenting those equally enormous menus, he’s now playing a small accordion. A squeezebox, if you will. He faces the camera, his left hand drops, allowing the concertinaed fabric to droop downwards in the manner of an elephant’s trunk in repose. He looks to our hapless hero, looks to the accordion, looks back at the camera and winks.

Suddenly, a light flashes in our male diner’s eyes, he quaffs his drink, furrows his brow and BAM! The tulips suddenly spring to attention, their deep red heads thrusting manfully skywards. Our waiter/musician looks on in wonder and backs away, awestruck. The female at the table licks her lips as she gazes upon our tumultuous tulips. At that exact moment, the table at our hero’s end begins to tilt upwards. As it climbs inexorably the dishes slide into his lady’s lap. Her eyes widen, her lips part. Our hero looks directly into the camera and winks. SCENE and CUT.

See? It’s easy, isn’t it? Just a bit more thought, a little more empathy and POW!

It’s a WINNER.

 

 

 

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Category : Uncategorized

One Comment → “General erection”


  1. Richard Boon

    4 years ago

    Can’t get link up *reaches for little blue pills*


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