Baby shower.

Baby shower.

August 17th, 2010 // 6:35 pm @ // 2 Comments

” I was in ‘My Family’ you know.”        ” Yes. And you were shit in that too.”

Hello there. Exciting news in the ‘Campaign Daily Bulletin’ this morning. It seems that the latest development in BT’s series of Ads featuring the inexplicably popular couple ‘Adam and Jane’, is that Jane is to become pregnant. Yes, it’s true. And what’s more, it’s all down to the great British public. It seems that when, in an earlier ad, it looked like the pair may split up due to Adam’s change of job and consequent move to an impossibly stylish seaside apartment, hordes of Ad fans and idiots formed groups on Facebook demanding a future for their favourite ill advised haircut and vapid beauty.

Never a company to shy away from the mentally infirm, BT asked all those people to vote on what should come next for the telecom twosome and the overwhelming response, ( apart from a weird alien subplot, possibly thought up by some lonely thirtysomething in a bedsit in Stoke ), was ” Get Jane up the duff”. And so it has come to pass.

However, in a shock move, rival telecommunications company T-mobile have claimed that the baby can’t possibly be Adam’s and was in fact conceived during one of their ‘5 for a fiver at Blockbuster’ parties hosted by that fat sweaty bloke who dresses up as a robot to entice his, frankly less than attractive, friends over to the squalid flat on the outskirts of town that he calls home. Or ‘My pad’.

A T-mobile spokesman said yesterday, “Yes, it’s true that Jane off of the BT adverts did indeed attend a party at Fat Doug’s place last Tuesday. There, whilst off her face on a mixture of Lambrini, Blue WKD and Benylin, she did the nasty under some coats with Fat Doug’s mate Stumpy Colin and we are convinced that her current condition is the result of that union. What’s more, due to his T-mobile connection, Colin did it for twenty quid and with a ten times quicker connection speed than that lanky BT poof Adam could ever manage. Naturally we invite BT to approach us through the medium of The Jeremy Kyle show or similar scientific institution where the matter can be resolved via DNA tests, lie detectors and some spirited shouting from Stumpy Colin’s ex, Ms. Mercedes Dunstapp.”

Kris Marshall was unavailable for comment at the time of going to press. Thank Christ.

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2 Comments → “Baby shower.”

  1. John Smart

    13 years ago

    Ha! That’s what you get for all that unprotected phone sex…

  2. andy

    13 years ago

    I always protect myself during phone sex John. I use your number.

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