car trouble

car trouble

May 21st, 2010 // 2:36 pm @ // No Comments yet

Hello there. I’ve just been watching that new Ford S-max ad on the telly. You know, the one where all kinds of exciting people doing all kinds of exciting stuff are projected onto various bits of the car. There’s a surfer going over the roof, a mountaineer scaling the tailgate, a gyroplane thingy landing on the bonnet. Oh, hang on, just watch the film instead…

Proper exciting isn’t it? The thing is though, you’re average S-max is never going to see any of that kind of action is it? Chances are that most days it’ll have three kids in the back, alternately screaming, fighting and being sick – and it’s more demanding journeys will involve circling the car park at Asda for an hour or so while some chancer in a Citroen Saxo with black windows, pumping out N-dubz at a volume that’s making children cry three post codes away, dives into the solitary parking space that’s eternally out of reach. It’s bit like those old ads for sanitary products where the lucky buyer goes hang-gliding, scuba diving or disco dancing, then gets dragged along a sea front on roller-skates by two big mad dalmatians. All very glamorous but slightly detached from the mundanity of real life.

That’s ok though isn’t it? Because the last thing we want from car ads is reality. We want to see those shiny rascals hurtling along a mountain road unsullied by speed ramps, gatso cameras and three mile tailbacks. We want to see them pulling up outside chic bistros and boutiques with great big parking spaces wide-open and waiting for us. Because the sad reality is, if anyone produced a car ad showing what we can actually do with our cars these days, it’d be the most boring film we’ve ever seen.

Unless, of course, you really fancy a five hour movie of a rep picking his nose on the M25.

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