it’s the little things…

it’s the little things…

March 28th, 2010 // 2:06 pm @ // No Comments yet

Hello there. Yesterday I went to see Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland. Yes, I know it’s been out ages and it’s frankly a bit old hat (ter) by now but I’d been resisting it until my daughter forced me to take her. The reason for my reluctance was simply that I’m a bit Tim Burtoned out lately. You must know the feeling, from Edward Scissorhands on, you kind of know what you’re going to get. Johnny Depp will be Depping about the place all quirky and fey while Helena Bonham Carter gets all Helena Bonham Carter everywhere. In mad dresses. ( Although, in fairness this time she’s doing Queenie out of Blackadder. With a big head. )

Well yesterday I bit the bullet, got the tickets, bought the popcorn, sold my house to get some slush, popped on my 3D spectacles and took my seat with Harriet to sullenly sit through a film I was bound to hate, purely to make my child love me. Here, however, things took an unexpected turn. I really loved the film. ( Well for now, I’ll get to the bad bit later ) It was funny in places, exciting,  ( it helps having a eight year old next to you reacting to stuff of course ), the 3D effects were pretty spectacular and the story was good enough to keep you fairly interested throughout. I did find Johnny’s wandering accent a bit unsettling at first, until I got the point that it was all symbolic of the Hatter’s  descent into madness and schizophrenia. I get stuff like that. I’ve seen films, read books, I can dig nuance. All the same, I couldn’t help but think of that bloody Nature Valley bar ad for a bit though. You know the one. Where those city types fall into haystacks while a farmer goes on about “the rodent race” in an accent that goes from Caerphilly to Carlisle via Cameroon.

However, I digress. The point I was going to make is what I was saying in the headline. Little things can completely screw up a great big thing. A thing that was potentially both big and great. And for me, the little thing was the Futterwacken. From early in the film it was hinted that the Mad Hatter, on the frabjous day when the Jabberwock was slain and the Red Queen vanquished, would dance the Futterwacken. A dance he hadn’t performed since the Red Queen acted like a right bitch and messed everything up in Underland.  ( Yes, it’s Underland not Wonderland. Don’t look at me. Email Tim Burton. )

Anyway I’m sure that, like me, you’re already excited about The Futterwacken and can’t wait to see the Hatter perform it. What will it be? A highland reel ( to go with the Scottish accent )? A mad jig ( to go with the mad )?

No. It’s a bloody “streetdance” like those things you get on Britain’s got talent or X factor or somesuch, complete with a big bassy Citroen Saxo with black windows and maxpower exhaust thing soundtrack. Where did that come from? Why? There’s nothing even remotely like that in the rest of the movie and it just jars horribly. Maybe it was a good idea at the time but it really, really affects everything like a deep scratch on the final track of an album you’ve just been playing. ( sorry, that’s a vinyl reference. Cast your minds back or just think of a cd going ddddddddddddddddddum at a crucial moment. Or mo mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ent )

Anyway, here it is.  Have a look and see what you think.

See? See? Complete and futter wacken.

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